the Stimulus Check

I've been thinking about the stimulus check that Trump, in his wisdom and generosity, is sending me.

Ordinarily I was just bank something like that, as I would a tax refund. Many of you who work for wages will no doubt use the check to pay bills, which is certainly one of its intended uses. But I bump by every month on my social security, and every month, as soon as I get my monthly check, I pay my bills.

So I think that my patriotic duty is to spend it. On what? Well, I like to take things slowly so I can figure stuff out. I've been in this apartment for two months and I'm still furnishing it. But I can't make up my mind how to furnish it. I've never done this before. It has to say "me".

I'm presently using a cardboard box as an end table, so there's that. I need a night stand, which now is a cardboard box too, so there's that.  Maybe that's "me". 

Or maybe I should spend it on something truly useful, like a new laptop. As an author, I need a laptop. If this old Asus breaks, I'm done. So a laptop would be good, and I can save the old Asus as a backup unit. OK, that would be a smart thing. Otherwise, if this one broke, I'd scramble to buy another one from Amazon using my phone. A laptop it is. (At this point, my other brain is starting in).

But the laptop I picked out is $600. So the rest I should sock away. No. Stimulate something with it. Like what? I don't need anything. (This is the part where my two brains argue like two old men, as usual).

You have to spend it. No, I don't. Yes you do. The check isn't called "Dave's save it money" for a reason. Yeah, but I don't need anything, so like what? Buy something you don't need. If I don't need it, I don't buy it. Let me spell it out for you, S-T-I-M-U-L-U-S.

OK, something I don't need. Or want. Or never considered buying. Like a TV? YES, buy a TV! But I don't want a TV. S-T-I- OK OK, I get it, a TV.

Where would I put a TV in this little room? I don't have a TV stand and I'm low on cardboard boxes. Yeah, says the guy using a cardboard box for an end table. Well, I guess they hang on the wall now, right? Sheesh, yes, the wall, and you have one that you haven't stuck your stupid photographs on. WHAT DO YOU MEAN STUPID PHOTOGRAPHS?? Sorry... a wall you haven't decorated with your fine art, my mistake. Apology accepted, so now just shut up. Fine. Fine.